Parlotones: the early years...

Or the Parlo-phonies. I couldn’t decide.


Like most people over the course of the last few years, I’ve watched the Parlotones whore themselves out to anyone with a pocketful of gold: Pick ‘n Pay, KFC, Outsurance… And hey, this is South Africa so the music industry is kinda small and you gotta pay the bills, right? I can understand that.

But I have to say I felt a little miffed when MAHALA broke the story about the ‘Tones signed away what was left of their soul to produce and perform a song for the German National Football Team for the World Cup (click to open in a new window). The title of the song? “Come Back Heroes”.

The Mahala article pretty much has all the details but only touches on the 2300 word Facebook response by Khan Morbee, the frontman for the ‘Phonies. I read the response  and let me say that although I have been exposed to some monumental displays of arrogant bullshit in my time, this is the Blue Ribbon winner.

The response appears to have been penned with all the petulance (and command of language) as befits a 5 year old who’s been caught red-handed shoving firecrackers into the family dog. There’s so much material to work with: the blatant shilling (“I have a pair of ‘FLAG’ branded Superga shoes for South Africa, Germany, Brazil, England and Italy”. Yes, he mentioned Germany again!) or the confused attempt to be patriotic (“I have NO dual alliances even though I was born in Belgium and have the passport”) but for me, the best bit  was when Gimme Morbee got all pouty with:

“How many times has Queen’s “We are the Champions” been used in a similar vein, has anyone question Freddy Mercury’s allegiance for ‘We are the Champions’ and his allegiance when he sang ‘Barcelona’?”

Someone should point out to him that besides the ‘Phonies being nowhere in the same league as Queen or Freddie Mercury, “We Are The Champions” was never written with the intention of being sold to a client. Moreover, Barcelona was commissioned by the mayor of the city who asked for a song to commemorate the 1992 Olympic Games (not the Spanish Olympic Team) which were to be held in the city (check it out on Wikipedia; there’s a quote from Monserrat Cabale to go back it up).  And finally, that “Come Back Heroes” was a song written by a South African band to endorse the German National Football team and was sold to a client.

Also, Freddie Mercury is dead and trying to question someone who’s dead is pointless. In fact, even mentioning the late Mr Mercury in the present tense might well hint at a slight disconnect with reality.

Let’s be clear: it’s not that they sold out that frosts my cookies. I think we’re used to that by now especially after that KFC debacle. It’s that they refuse to own up to it. Cop to it, you miserable bunch. You got busted. And no amount of whining, pouting, snivelling or cheap justification is gonna hide that.

Grow a pair.

A sad fact in conclusion: at the time of writing, Kahn’t GetEnough’s response had garnered 261 “LIKES”. That means that there are almost 300 people who will soon be parted with their money. If you want to read Morbee’s whinge in its nauseating entirety, click here (opens in a new window). No, get your own barf bag.


One thought on “Baloney-tones…

  1. Sad!!! Also, their KFC ad was made such a fuss of as the bild up to the now boring, high-on-meth video for Life Design…

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