Meet Wenlock and Mandeville – the new mascots for the London 2012 Olympics.
They look like the result of a drunken gangbang between the Care Bears and those green alien things from The Simpsons.
By the way, the one on the right? He’s the PARALYMPIC mascot. Feel free to facepalm at this point.
You gotta feel sorry for the poor schmucks who have to wear those suits. Can you imagine the lengths people will go to, to hide the truth?
Wide-eyed youngster: “What does Daddy do for work, Mummy?”
Mother (played by Gemma Arterton): “He kills kittens and uses their teeth to make disposable necklaces for the wives of obscenely wealthy media-barons and footballers.”
Wide-eyed youngster: “Oh. OK. Just as long as he doesn’t wear those stupid 2012 Olympic Mascot uniforms. Jimmy at school says that Terry’s dad does and we threw stones at Terry all the way home before burning his dad.”
Mother (played by Gemma Arterton): “In effigy, of course.”
Wide-eyed youngster: “No, Mummy. In his driveway.”