Hey Baby…

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I hate kids. Babies especially; alimentary canals with no satisfaction at one end and no responsibility at the other. So, you can imagine my joy at the discovery of “GREAT EXPECTATIONS” – a show about babies, kids…

Personally, I think it’s all quite vulgar.

So what am I moaning about? Why don’t I change the channel? I do. In fact, one look at Sam Cowen’s smug meant-for-radio-face and I find myself feeling physically ill. Not to mention the references to expressing breast milk and nappies and the like…

Excuse me. I think I threw up in my mouth a little.

What gets me is that there’s a market for this condescending content. Women will happily sit there and let some complete stranger tell them what’s best for their kids, a one-size-fits-all situation. Don’t you have any real friends? Parents? A mother? C’mon! What makes you think any of the daft bints on the screen know any better than you? Are we that insecure that the TV has become the expert on raising your children?

Is it any wonder then, that after being indoctrinated into parental instruction by the box, you then use it to babysit those very same little rugrats? And then you freak out when your spawn learn all the “wrong” things. You want to have kids? Then be a damned parent. And no, you silly mutt, you can’t let the TV do it for you…

Anyway, the (forgettable) sponsor probably gets their mileage, though dear god, it’s a long, dull road…for me anyway…

It’s not all bad though. The one episode I did manage to sit through gave me enough reason to never have any of the mind-debilitating, soul-destroying little bastards. So that’s nice…

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2 thoughts on “Hey Baby…

  1. It was Supernanny that did it for me. Not only are the children bloody awful but this Brit comes along with the most ludicrous advice to keep them in check when a bloody good hiding would do.

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